I have been thinking a lot about a comment that a co-worker of Jason's, who is the father of two teenage children, made to us shortly after Callie started crawling. He said something to the effect that each time a child acquires a new form of mobility, the separation between parent and child becomes greater. He indicated the separation is not merely spacial, but relational as well.
An infant totally relies on his or her parents for every need. As a child learns to roll, then scoot, then crawl, stand, walk, and climb, the child develops a sense of independence and can easily create distance between himself/herself and parents. I realize at this age, the separation is primarily spatial, but a child is realizing they are a separate entity from their parents and have a mind of their own. The separation begins...
Callie has already added another form of mobility to her repertoire as she toddles around our house, spending more time walking than crawling now. She is thrilled with the increased independence this also give her. I'm thankful she finds it more necessary and entertaining than Maddy to walk towards us, instead of always running away. Yet the separation continues...
Next, walking to running...sigh
I know that it is a natural progression and generally healthy that children develop a sense of confidence and independence. I am also glad that Callie can move and entertain herself for longer periods of time without my having to be present every second. So right now, I don't mourn these separations, but am thankful both of our girls are developing a healthy need for independence; yet I am glad they eagerly desire time with us and need our hugs, snuggles, and tickles.
As I think about the future, I see the truth in this statement more and more. As Madelyn gets her first bike this summer, she will be able to get away from us faster and farther than on foot. In a few years, a bus will take her to school and a whole new world of relationships will develop. Farther, much farther in the future, the additional mobility of a motorized vehicle (will the altima still be around?). Eventually, depending on where she attends school, gets married, and settles down, flying may become an important mode mobility (I pray not!). Each additional form of mobility creates greater physical distance, increased independence, and less time focusing on the relationship between parent and child.
As I pour my time and energy into my girls right now, I am sad to think that someday that separation and their independence may be too great and our relationship broken.
For now, I will enjoy the time I get to spend with them each day, pray they develop a healthy sense of confidence and independence, and cherish the moments when the love I (we) have for them is reciprocated through words, hugs, and kisses I receive throughout the day.
An infant totally relies on his or her parents for every need. As a child learns to roll, then scoot, then crawl, stand, walk, and climb, the child develops a sense of independence and can easily create distance between himself/herself and parents. I realize at this age, the separation is primarily spatial, but a child is realizing they are a separate entity from their parents and have a mind of their own. The separation begins...
Callie has already added another form of mobility to her repertoire as she toddles around our house, spending more time walking than crawling now. She is thrilled with the increased independence this also give her. I'm thankful she finds it more necessary and entertaining than Maddy to walk towards us, instead of always running away. Yet the separation continues...
Next, walking to running...sigh
I know that it is a natural progression and generally healthy that children develop a sense of confidence and independence. I am also glad that Callie can move and entertain herself for longer periods of time without my having to be present every second. So right now, I don't mourn these separations, but am thankful both of our girls are developing a healthy need for independence; yet I am glad they eagerly desire time with us and need our hugs, snuggles, and tickles.
As I think about the future, I see the truth in this statement more and more. As Madelyn gets her first bike this summer, she will be able to get away from us faster and farther than on foot. In a few years, a bus will take her to school and a whole new world of relationships will develop. Farther, much farther in the future, the additional mobility of a motorized vehicle (will the altima still be around?). Eventually, depending on where she attends school, gets married, and settles down, flying may become an important mode mobility (I pray not!). Each additional form of mobility creates greater physical distance, increased independence, and less time focusing on the relationship between parent and child.
As I pour my time and energy into my girls right now, I am sad to think that someday that separation and their independence may be too great and our relationship broken.
For now, I will enjoy the time I get to spend with them each day, pray they develop a healthy sense of confidence and independence, and cherish the moments when the love I (we) have for them is reciprocated through words, hugs, and kisses I receive throughout the day.
4 comments:
Great reflections Karen. Sad but so true. Makes me want to hold on to these days together much much more! How important our influence and example is today!
Rachelle
Thanks for the thoughts Karen. Makes me want to treasure these days more than wish them away as I have a tendancy to do somedays. When the moments are overwhelming we need to savor the fact that our kids do need us so much right now:)
So true ladies! It is so easy to wish they could dress themselves, walk themselves, eat themselves,put themselves to bed so we could do our own thing or just have a break, but in no time at all, we will be wishing they would jump in our laps, ask to read a book and just snuggle.
:( I already feel this way and my baby is only 8 weeks old! I felt this way immediately after I had her, like I just wanted to freeze time in a way and keep her my baby. I know that all stages will be fun, but I really love that she is my baby and needs me so much now. I guess all we can do is cuddle them and enjoy every second of the stage when they do need us so much, because it will be gone in a flash.
I guess all mothers must feel this way. Hope to see you soon Karen, miss you! Enjoy your beautiful girls!
Post a Comment